It seems my faith has been directly or indirectly been thrown in my face. Between the state of Arizona legalizing homosexual marriage and the ebola outbreak; things from the past and the Mayor of Houston subpoenaing several pastor’s sermons I’m feeling as if everything I believe is wrong. I know it isn’t wrong but society keeps telling me that it is. I will not back down. They say that if I don’t accept what the world feels is right then I’m judgmental or homophobic, or self-righteous. And it really sucks that some of my family is so judgmental towards me b/c of these things. I know how some of them feel about particular topics and I’ve never once told them they were wrong, just that I don’t agree. I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles but I have to say, its getting more difficult by the day to live in a world where I offend people just because I believe differently. Doesn’t matter if I state that opinion out loud; because they know what’s in my heart, I’m automatically wrong because they think so and they hold that grudge whether they know it or not. Doesn’t anyone know the truth of the words of God? My heart is sadden.
I’ve always felt that I could never be a missionary outside of the U.S. I’ve never wanted to be. I know that sounds wrong and honestly I know I should feel differently but this is where my heart is. One of my bffs and her family are planning a mission trip to Africa. First off, don’t get me started on the ebola crap b/c she won’t listen–stubborn woman. Secondly, I love that she has a heart for missions and it makes me feel bad that I don’t feel the need to go over there or any where for that matter. She pointed out to me that God puts things on our hearts and this is something she feels she should do. It made me realized that America still needs a lot of help here. We are failing as a nation to take care of our own and if everyone leaves to mission out of the country who is going to help ours? My heart is at home, not overseas. This country is going to crap faster than it has in the past. Our nation has always been on a moral decline and so forth but lately it has declined quickly. If we don’t stand up for what is the truth then how can anyone expect things to get better? I’m not the first Christian to be persecuted and I won’t be the last. I will stand and fight.
I know God has something planned for me. I can feel it within the depth of my soul and I know it will be monumental. I just don’t know what it is. I can say from past experience that I’ve always been the one to plant a seed. I’ve never been the one to help it grow. I’ve never personally brought someone to Christ. In sunday school we’ve started a new lesson on this. When I found out my heart leapt with excitement and nervousness. I know something is going to happen and I’m going to need to know this. I’ve grown up in church but never has my walk with Christ been so involved as it has been in the past three or so years. It has taken our family to be moved to another state, away from anyone I knew, my husband being deployed and me living on my own for the first time in my life (with three young kids of course) to bring me where I am now. I’m not anywhere close to where I need to be. In fact, I will never get tired of learning about the the truth. There is so much more I have to learn in order to keep growing in my faith. Every time I open my bible I find something new. Even if I’ve read it before, underlined it, I still get something new out of it.
I’ve been praying, asking for guidance. Like stated before, I know something is coming and I know I need to be ready. I’m scared and nervous but I know that God will give me the words to say. Most of the time I feel like Moses; not a great speaker, scared that I’ll say something wrong. God’s got this. I had conformation tonight about my feelings. I came across bible verses, all in different places. I didn’t know what I was looking for but I just knew I needed something. Ironically the verses I found tonight were already underlined–I just needed a reminder.
As a nation we need to step up, not be scared and fight for this country. We need to be a city on our knees.
I know that y’all probably won’t understand why I needed to be reminded of these verses but they were what I needed to see. I’ve been under a lot of attacks lately and this just gives me the reassurance that no matter what comes my way, I will not deny my Father in heaven. He will take care of me. He is the Alpha and the Omega-the beginning and the end.
I am the way the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth. Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly. 2 Timothy 2:15-16
And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26
Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction faithful in prayer. Romans 12:12
I am only one person but if we all rally together and stand for the truth, not back down when the devil tries to tear us apart we will succeed. I’ve never felt this strongly about this kind of thing before but as a Christian I can not stand by and not do something. God has placed this on my heart and I can’t ignore Him.