I can call myself a Christian

5 Apr

Happy Easter Y’all!

So this was my morning at church….

DSC_0523DSC_0530DSC_0532DSC_0537  My middle child, Kate, was baptized this morning as a public profession of faith in Jesus Christ.  What a remarkable way to start off our Easter Sunday.  I’m so proud of her for opening her heart and giving her life to Christ.

Kate looked at me and said, “mommy there is a lot of people today.”

Why does it have to be a special occasion for someone to come to church?  Before anyone gets irritated at me let me just say this, get it off my chest and then you can make comments….

I know people work and sometimes they can’t help but miss church.  I also know that people make up a church not a building so it doesn’t always have to be a Sunday worship.  I know there are those who sit in front of their t.v. and watch it or listen to it on the radio.  I’d also like to point out that the majority of people who don’t attend church choose not to because and I quote, “I have better things to do.”  or, “I’m just so tired, I need my sleep.”  There are a lot of different reasons for someone to not go to church.  My point that I’m trying to make is that a lot of people that only come to church on holidays also act like they are the best Christians in the world.  I know that I am a Christian.  I would also like to make it very clear that I don’t believe I am better than anyone else and that I do, in fact, sin.  Every day.  I would also like to say that I try on a daily basis to live like Christ, to have holiness dwell within me.  I fail at that….a lot.  The point is, I try.  I’m genuinely wanting and trying to be the person God has called me to be.  That is why it ruffles my feathers that there are those people who will curse all over Facebook Saturday night and post pictures of themselves doing unGodly things, or just acting like an idiot and less than 24 hours later praising the Lord.  Don’t get me wrong, I would love for them to praise God, to know Him and to have a relationship with Him but can’t they do it all the other days of the year too?  To be perfectly honest I got a text today and it freaked me out.  My husband said it as well when he received the same message.  Why?  Because that person who sent it might have meant well but do they even really mean it?  How can someone pretend to be a Christian when their heart and actions don’t match their every day life?  I’m not condemning this person–at least that is not my intention so I hope it doesn’t seem like it.  I love this person.  I pray for this person and hope that she truly starts to feel in her heart the words she says (on special occasions).  See…back to the special occasion part.  Can you sense bitterness in my words?  I think there might be some there, something that shouldn’t dwell within me but it does.  Its something that I’ve been working on, praying about.  –I think I’m straying from the topic but it becoming clear as I write this that this post is going in a different direction than planned.–  If you are going to call yourself a Christian then please PLEASE act like it.  Your thoughts become your actions and your actions become your character.  What’s character?  Its how you act when no one is watching.  Sometimes you’ll fail but always get back up again and try.  His grace is what covers us.  I’m a sinner but by His grace I’m saved.  I know its easy to be lead by the flesh but if you live in the spirit it becomes easier to ignore the worldly ways.  We as society have become desensitized to the things around us so we are able to make excuses and think we’re right.  Set your mind on the Lord, study His word, make time to worship Him.  Its been said that it takes 30 days to create or break a habit.  Set your mind on God and make it a habit to think like Christ and it will become second nature.  Your heart will change for those around you.  I can feel God working on me.  I’ve had some difficulty with certain people and its starting to harden my heart.  That is not what I want.  I’ve prayed that God would change my heart, let me love those who have wronged me.  I want the bitterness to disappear and I want to love those who don’t love me back.  Recently I’ve been dealing with these emotions and I can say that if I didn’t strive to be holy then this feeling of bitterness, anger, almost hate would take over my life.  I wouldn’t be the person God needs me to be and I certainly wouldn’t be a good example for my kids.  People watch me whether I know it or not.  They see how I react to situations and they see what’s in my heart through my words.  I don’t ever want to be a hateful person and I certainly don’t want for unbelievers to think that a Christian acts like a complete dirt bag.  Why on earth would that kind of attitude bring them to Christ?  I want to be the kind of person that someone can be around me for 10 minutes and know that my heart belongs to Jesus.  I don’t mean that I’m shoving my faith down someone’s throat but I do think that if you are kind, loving, caring and aren’t fake then people won’t be surprised who lives within me.  My actions speak volumes.  The words that come out of my mouth show my character.  I want to please God.  I want to know that I’ve done everything in this life to make God look good.

I’m sorry this post was all over the place.  Once I start typing all my thoughts come quicker than I can type.  I want so much for those unbelievers to know Christ.  I want them to feel the joy and peace that He brings.  I want with all my heart for those haven’t felt the purist of love to find it.  Jesus is the ultimate love story.  He didn’t have to die on that cross but He did it.

Just a few verses that I think pertain to what I said.

“Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God.” Romans 8:8  (For more start at v1 and read to v8)

“FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE, AS I FOLLOW THE EXAMPLE OF CHIRST.” 1 Corinthians 11:1

“God is light; in him there is no darkness at all.  If we claim to have fellowship with him yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live by the truth.  But if we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his son, purifies us from all sin.”  1 John 5-7

Jesus answered, “I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except throughout me.”  John 14:6

A PRAISE AND A PROMISE!

28 Feb

So Sunday February 22, 2015 my baby girl (one of them) accepted Christ as her Lord and Savior.  I couldn’t be more proud of her for making that commitment and on her own.  Memories I have become clouded sometimes but that day will always be one of the happiest of my life.  There are a lot of choices she has to make in her life but that one is by far the most important.  Can’t wait to see her baptized.

On a side note, as happy as this makes me I know it will only become harder for her as she grows into a young lady and grows in her faith.  I know the challenges she is going to face and I pray that she will learn to stand by her faith.  Learn to lean on God and remember to put on her full armor every day she wakes up.  People will try to tear her down; I pray she becomes someone to build people up.  They might try and change her mind; I pray that she learns the truth from scripture, God’s word.  Whether she wants to be Tinkerbelle when she grows up or a teacher (most recent choice) I pray that she chooses wisely and follow what God wants her to do.  When she makes mistakes and she will, I pray that she never forgets the love and grace and forgiveness that comes from the Lord.

To my baby girl, Kate, I love you and maybe one day you will read this but even if you don’t I promise to be a good example on how to be a mother, a Christian, a sister, a wife and a friend.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you that you aren’t good enough.  God doesn’t make mistakes and He made you perfect in His eyes.  I love you sweet girl.

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Valentines Day

14 Feb

Its amusing to me that when my husband walks up to me after seven pm and gives me a sweet kiss on the lips and says, “happy valentines day, sorry I forgot what day it was.”  Doesn’t bother me one bit especially when the rest of the conversation goes like this, “That’s ok, I’d rather you forget and treat me like this every day than just once a year.” and he responds with, “Yes I should.”  That’s love.  I am thankful for a husband who stands beside me through everything.  Makes me laugh daily and even when he forgets what day it is, never forgets to give me a kiss just because he wants to.

I spent the day with one of my best friends and her family that we haven’t seen in a year.  We laughed, talked about anything and everything and celebrated her youngest son’s birthday and spent the majority of the day at the park.  The weather was amazing today and I couldn’t have asked for the day to have gone any other way.  What better way to spend Valentines Day than to be with those you love.   God is great.

           For God

             so loVed the world

                    thAt He gave His

 onLy

           bEgotten

      soN, so

              thaT whoever

believes In Him

           shall Not perish

     but have Eternal life

John 3:16

Happy Valentine’s Day.  Don’t be sad if you don’t have a valentine….Jesus is the ultimate valentine.

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Food for thought

11 Jan

Its the little things.  No one wakes up thinking, “Hey, I’m going to…<insert sin>” and then does it.  No, it takes many many little things every day, weeks, months that add up to cause someone to make a huge mistake.  Pay attention to the things you do every day.  Every choice you make does change the course of other people’s lives/relationships.
With that said, it goes both ways.  Start off choosing to do something good for someone.  Don’t do it for selfish reasons because you want to feel good, do it for the glory of God.  Don’t think about failing.  Just listen to God and know that if He is leading you or putting something on your heart–HE WILL PROVIDE.  Moses didn’t speak well, look what he accomplished by listening to God.  There will always be a victory when doing the work for God.  Faith and good deeds.

I want to grow old with you

12 Nov
Scan - Version 2

November 12, 2004

Today marks ten years of marriage for my husband and I!  I have to admit;  if you asked me three days ago if I was over then moon excited I’d have told you, “Meh”.  Life has been so overwhelming and stressful lately that nothing seemed like a big deal. I’m happy we’ve made it so far when a lot of people had their doubts.  I mean really, who thinks most nineteen year olds will make it?  I knew we would.  I loved him back then and I love him even more today.  We’ve been through so much in our ten years of marriage (most of it early on) that the next ten years might not be so trying <fingers crossed>.  I know, I’m full of crap, what am I saying?  Of course the next ten years are going to be trying and the reason I say that is because of this…Marriage is not easy.  Marriage is work.  But when you put Christ in the middle of a marriage it will flourish.  There is nothing I would change.  The choices we made back then and every time after that, whether right or wrong, have led us to be where we our now.  We’ve struggled but we learned how to manage.  We’ve had fun, laughed and grew up together.  We were babies when we got married.  Just out of high school, me in college and working, him in the Marine Corps.  We didn’t know what we were doing but we did it.  We made mistakes and screwed up time and time again but we fixed it.  Let me say this too, when I say ‘we’ I don’t mean my husband and I alone, God was part of that ‘we’.  If there is one thing I can say to anyone about marriage is this:  Marry someone who loves Christ as much or more than they love you.  That is ok.  Only one person should come before your spouse and that is Him.  Never give up when things get hard because I promise you they will get hard.  Remember this also, love that person wholeheartedly, unselfishly, and have fun every day.  Life is too short to stay angry.

I found someone who won’t let me be mad at him.  He says that’s the only reason he was able to keep me because there’s no way I would have put up with his crap if I was able to stay mad.  His words not mine.  What I wish he would realize is that I can’t stay mad at him because he is my best friend, my husband, father of our kids and because my heart also belongs to Jesus.  My heart is so filled with love for Him that the relationship I have with my husband has improved.  God blessed me early in life with my husband when I know some people have to wait years to find their mate.  I know I was lucky, blessed, that I don’t want to hold on to anything that will tear it apart.  Ask me today how I feel about our anniversary, my answer is this:  I loved him then and I love him now.  Today is a milestone that I’m proud of and I am ready for the next stage in our lives.  Thank you for being my husband, my friend, my comedian, the father of our kids and my true love.

Danny, Elsa and the housewife

1 Nov

So I talked my husband into dressing up for halloween.  I love halloween.  He was Jon Snow and I was Daenerys Targaryen from Game of Thrones.  I was so excited that for once we were dressing up and matching!  He is such a mule when it comes to that kind of stuff.  A few days before halloween I started getting nervous about my costume.  I’m not skinny and I kept thinking about how people would make fun of me for dressing up as someone so popular and beautiful when I so obviously don’t fit that description.  I contemplated taking it back, not wanting that kind of attention.  All I wanted was to have fun.  Did I mention I love halloween?  Halloween arrives and my husband even found a baby dragon to put on my shoulder so I sucked it up and wore my Danny costume with excitement.  Even though I know I looked nothing like Danny I played the part.  While we were walking the kids around I started noticing little girls staring at me with wide eyes and a grin.  I just smiled brightly and waved.  It didn’t occur to me until my husband jokingly reminds me that I’m contributing to people getting drunk every time we show up at their door (the drinking game going around online) that I was being mistaken for someone else.  I didn’t get the joke until I remembered what my four year old niece who was dressed as Elsa from Frozen yelled when she saw me, “Macole (I love how she says my name) we’re both Elsa!”  There it is.  Only a few people knew who I was supposed to be and that was because I had the dragon on my shoulder.  Of course I knew kids wouldn’t know who I was portraying so when all the little girls staring at me with joyous expression thought I was Elsa I didn’t say otherwise.  Let me just say this, I’m not a huge fan of that movie (I know–SHOCK!) but the way those cute little girls running around looking at me was so enlightening.  I’m going to stop here and skip stories for a minute but I promise I will come back around to this.  Now, listen to the song ‘Let it go’.  I have to admit, I’ve never really paid attention to the lyrics.

Ever feel like no matter how hard you try you’ll never quite fit in and always feel like a second thought to someone?  I know that feeling well.  It can make you feel like a piece of crap.  I had other thoughts but honestly, that pretty much sums it up.  I feel left out and not good enough around some pretty important people.  I feel like I just don’t matter.  <insert world’s smallest violin playing>

God has a funny way of reminding us that we really do matter.  I’ve heard this song, ‘Greater’ often and I love it.  It wasn’t until tonight when I was upset that it came on the radio while on that rare occasion I was by myself.  I didn’t know how much I needed to hear it but when it started playing I heard it in a knew way.  The lyrics meant something more to me.

Now putting ‘Let it go’ and ‘Greater’ together (not literally) you can get a sense of empowerment.  When I try to be someone else just to make people like me I’m holding back what God needs me to be.  By letting it go and forgetting that other’s think that I am not enough I can be who God has called me to be.  “Nevertheless, each one should retain the place in life that the lord assigned to him and to which God has called him.”  1 Corinthians 7:17

The lyrics, (Greater) “Bring your tired and bring your shame, bring your guilt and bring your pain, don’t you know its not your name, you will always be much more to me…Because I hear a voice and he calls me redeemed when others say I’ll never be enough…I am learning to run freely understanding just how he sees me and it makes me love him more and more.” (Let It Go) “I don’t care what they’re going to say let the storm rage on…Its time to see what I can do.  To test the limits and break through…Here I stand in the light of day, let the storm rage on.”  As dorky and unusual as me relating these two songs together is, I can’t help but feel better.  Crazy as it sounds, after hearing ‘Greater’ tonight it made everything click about last night, here and now.  Those beautiful little girls that kept looking in awe of me or rather my costume and didn’t see the insecure, fat, lonely, unimportant person that I am made to feel.  They saw me as a beautiful and important person.  The same way God sees me.  Time and time again I go over this in my head.  Its one of my biggest flaws–forgetting how wonderfully I am made.  Last night I won’t lie, I was annoyed everyone (and by everyone I mean adults) thought I was Elsa but my husband said this to me, “Who cares that no one got your costume, you made those little kids happy when they saw a real grown up Elsa.”  Sometimes that man make sense ;)  I need to look at myself as God sees me (I know, same old story different verse–I said it was a bad flaw of mine) and like through the innocence of a child.  They don’t see the same things adults do.  They didn’t see an overweight house mom playing dress up.  They saw something beautiful.  <SIGH> Ok, enough of that.  I’ll leave you with this and be done. :)  Pictures of last night of who I was supposed to be verses who I was thought to be and who I really am (in costume and out).  Also, my kids b/c they were too darn cute!  And my little Elsa who thought it was awesome we were dressed the same and saw nothing but beauty.

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My beautiful niece as Elsa20141031_202956

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This is who I am.  I’m a mom.20140715_174026_2  I’m a wife.

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The woman made in God’s image.

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City on our knees

18 Oct

It seems my faith has been directly or indirectly been thrown in my face.  Between the state of Arizona legalizing homosexual marriage and the ebola outbreak; things from the past and the Mayor of Houston subpoenaing several pastor’s sermons I’m feeling as if everything I believe is wrong.  I know it isn’t wrong but society keeps telling me that it is.  I will not back down.  They say that if I don’t accept what the world feels is right then I’m judgmental or homophobic, or self-righteous.  And it really sucks that some of my family is so judgmental towards me b/c of these things.  I know how some of them feel about particular  topics and I’ve never once told them they were wrong, just that I don’t agree.  I’ve learned to pick and choose my battles but I have to say, its getting more difficult by the day to live in a world where I offend people just because I believe differently.  Doesn’t matter if I state that opinion out loud; because they know what’s in my heart, I’m automatically wrong because they think so and they hold that grudge whether they know it or not.  Doesn’t anyone know the truth of the words of God?  My heart is sadden.

I’ve always felt that I could never be a missionary outside of the U.S.  I’ve never wanted to be.  I know that sounds wrong and honestly I know I should feel differently but this is where my heart is.  One of my bffs and her family are planning a mission trip to Africa.  First off, don’t get me started on the ebola crap b/c she won’t listen–stubborn woman.  Secondly, I love that she has a heart for missions and it makes me feel bad that I don’t feel the need to go over there or any where for that matter.  She pointed out to me that God puts things on our hearts and this is something she feels she should do.  It made me realized that America still needs a lot of help here.  We are failing as a nation to take care of our own and if everyone leaves to mission out of the country who is going to help ours?  My heart is at home, not overseas.  This country is going to crap faster than it has in the past.  Our nation has always been on a moral decline and so forth but lately it has declined quickly.  If we don’t stand up for what is the truth then how can anyone expect things to get better?  I’m not the first Christian to be persecuted and I won’t be the last.  I will stand and fight.

I know God has something planned for me.  I can feel it within the depth of my soul and I know it will be monumental.  I just don’t know what it is.  I can say from past experience that I’ve always been the one to plant a seed.  I’ve never been the one to help it grow.  I’ve never personally brought someone to Christ.  In sunday school we’ve started a new lesson on this.  When I found out my heart leapt with excitement and nervousness.  I know something is going to happen and I’m going to need to know this.  I’ve grown up in church but never has my walk with Christ been so involved as it has been in the past three or so years.  It has taken our family to be moved to another state, away from anyone I knew, my husband being deployed and me living on my own for the first time in my life (with three young kids of course) to bring me where I am now.  I’m not anywhere close to where I need to be.   In fact, I will never get tired of learning about the the truth.  There is so much more I have to learn in order to keep growing in my faith.  Every time I open my bible I find something new.  Even if I’ve read it before, underlined it, I still get something new out of it.

I’ve been praying, asking for guidance.  Like stated before, I know something is coming and I know I need to be ready.  I’m scared and nervous but I know that God will give me the words to say.  Most of the time I feel like Moses; not a great speaker, scared that I’ll say something wrong.  God’s got this.  I had conformation tonight about my feelings.  I came across bible verses, all in different places.  I didn’t know what I was looking for but I just knew I needed something.  Ironically the verses I found tonight were already underlined–I just needed a reminder.

As a nation we need to step up, not be scared and fight for this country.  We need to be a city on our knees.

I know that y’all probably won’t understand why I needed to be reminded of these verses but they were what I needed to see.  I’ve been under a lot of attacks lately and this just gives me the reassurance that no matter what comes my way, I will not deny my Father in heaven.  He will take care of me.  He is the Alpha and the Omega-the beginning and the end.

I am the way the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.  John 14:6

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.  Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.  2 Timothy 2:15-16

And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful.  Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.  2 Timothy 2:24-26

Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction faithful in prayer.  Romans 12:12

I am only one person but if we all rally together and stand for the truth, not back down when the devil tries to tear us apart we will succeed.  I’ve never felt this strongly about this kind of thing before but as a Christian I can not stand by and not do something.  God has placed this on my heart and I can’t ignore Him.

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